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Date: | Fri, 17 Feb 2006 16:49:12 -0500 |
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Thanks, Taina. I hadn't seen that one before.
Here's another little cold weather ditty. Where it says "New
Hampshire," just insert "Canada," "North Dakota," or any cold weather
state. (This joke has been around for awhile. This is the
for-public-consumption version).
Paul Bergeron
Nashua, NH
Dear Diary:
Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in New Hampshire. I am so excited. It's
so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see
them with snow covering them.
Oct. 14 - New Hampshire is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves
have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride
through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so
graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This
must be paradise. I love it here!
Nov. 11 - Veteran's Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone
wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it
here!
Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with
white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow
off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I
won). When the snow plow came by we had to shovel the driveway again.
What a beautiful place. I love New Hampshire!
Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plow did his trick again to the
driveway. I love it here.
Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get
to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. Darn snow
plow.
Dec. 22 - More of that white stuff fell last night. I've got blisters on
my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides
around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Jerk.
Dec. 25 - Merry Christmas. More snow! If I ever get my hands on the jerk
who drives the snow plow, I swear I'll hurt him. Don't know why they
don't use more salt on the roads to melt the darn ice.
Dec. 27 - More white last night. Been inside for three days now except
for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every
time. Can't go anywhere. The car's stuck in a mountain of white stuff
and it's so darn cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches
of the stuff again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10
inches is?
Dec. 28 - That stupid weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the
stuff this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plow
got stuck up in the road and that jerk came to my door and asked to
borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels
shoveling out all the stuff he had pushed into my driveway. I darn near
broke my last one over his head.
Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on my way back a stupid deer ran in front of the car. Did about
$3,000 damage to the car. Those darn beasts should be killed. They are
everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing
is rusted out from all that stupid salt they put all over the roads?
May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right
mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as New
Hampshire!
-----Original Message-----
From: Records Management Program [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
Behalf Of Taina Makinen
Sent: Friday, February 17, 2006 4:26 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: [RM] OT weather
> Bill Roach should be having fun only -60 in ND. Man that must be the
> life.
And here's a little something to help put the temperature into
perspective.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
Cheers,
Taina Makinen
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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40F Californians shiver uncontrollably - Canadians sunbathe.
35F Italian cars won't start - Canadians drive with the windows down.
20F Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats - Canadians throw on a
T-shirt.
15F Californians begin to evacuate the state - Canadians go swimming.
Zero New York landlords finally turn up the heat - Canadians have the
last BBQ before it gets cold.
-10F People in Miami cease to exist - Canadians lick flagpoles.
-20F Californians fly away to Mexico - Canadians throw on a light
jacket.
-80F Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic - Canadian Boy Scouts
postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100F Santa Claus abandons the North Pole - Canadians pull down their
ear flaps.
-173F Ethyl alcohol freezes - Canadians get frustrated when they can't
thaw their kegs.
-297F Microbial life starts to disappear - Canadian pets complain of
owners with cold hands.
-459F ALL atomic motion stops - Canadians start saying "chilly... you
feeling cold?"
-500F Hell freezes over - Canadians dress for hockey practice !!!
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