Take some sheets of paper and print in large letters:

VITAL

CONFIDENTIAL  - in small print write a funny joke on it.  In case you don’t, have one, here is one.

WHY OLD MEN DON'T GET HIRED!

 Human Resources Manager:  "What is your greatest weakness?"

 Old Man :  "Honesty."

 Human Resources Manager:  "I don't think honesty is a weakness."

 Old Man :  "I don't really give a crap what you think.”        

LEGAL - Print two identical sheets

Finally bring a helium balloon,  The silver kind that float forever with a short string.  On it write:  “EMAIL” 

HAVE THREE PEOPLE COME TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM. Ask the guy with the VITAL cover sheet to tear it up.  When he is done, tell him that he just dramatically increased the chances that the company will go out of business due to the loss of its vital records.

Ask the women holding the Confidential sheet to go over to the left side of the room and show the people over there the sheet. Thereby exposing confidential information.  (And possibly exposing the company to an age discrimination law suit.) You can explain why protecting confidential information is so important to the company.  Litigation is a huge part of any transportation business and not exposing confidential information is important in defending the corporation.

Ask the Eunuch who is holding the Legal sheet to show he is holding two sheets. Have him take one of the sheets and take a marker and blot out the “L” and the “E” and now that sheet just says GAL.  (Don’t worry the Eunich won’t care either way, well you know why.  Also I stayed politically correct because I did not assume life was just filled with Men and Women.)

Now you explain that what the Eunuch did is called Spoliation and can cause you to lose a legal case because you have spoiled legally required records. Explain how SOX works and that what all three did was illegal and then have your Security officer come in and read them their rights. If he can take them away in cuffs, that is better.  Have the head of HR waiting by the door with pink sheets of paper and hand them to the three as they walk out of the room.  If you don’t have a Eunuch you can substitute the funniest guy in the room.

A short discussion of all the laws that control records will now be heard with open ears and you will be a cult hero forever.

Someone will eventually ask: “What about the guy holding the “email" balloon. You say, “Oh Yeah!” and then tell the guy holding the balloon to let go of the string. The balloon will float to the ceiling where no one can reach it.  Then explain that once an email is sent that nothing can bring that information back and that every email should be reviewed before you hitting “Send.”  Can this email hurt our company. Emails can create all sorts of risks. Explain a few.

I know I will receive another call from Chris Flynn about this.

Humor works in putting a message across because it holds their attention.  It makes it memorable.

Hugh Smith
FIRELOCK Fireproof Modular Vaults
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WWW.FIRELOCK.COM

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