that child is so ugleee i bet the parents put a pork chop around its neck so the family dog plays with it. tha person is so uglee they would make a freight train take a dirt road Bless your heart (only problem is most every body now knows this means "you dumbsh*t) and found on Algore's interwebs a whole slew of expressions. I especially like "cooler than the cold side of a pillow" Sayin’s - Ate that chicken til it was slick <http://everything2.com/title/clean> as a ribbon. - A wink <http://everything2.com/title/doesn%25E2%2580%2599t+matter> is as good as a nod, to a blind horse. - Barefooted as a yard dog. - Better than a sharp stick in the eye. - Birds of a feather flock together. - Bleedin' like a stuck pig. - Busy as a one armed paper hanger. - Butter my butt and call me a biscuit <http://everything2.com/title/biscuit>! (term of amazement) - Cold as a frog's behind. - Cold as a banker's heart. - Colder than a mother-in-laws love. - Colder than a well digger's <http://everything2.com/title/well+digger%2527s> destination. - Clean as a hound's tooth <http://everything2.com/title/hound%2527s+tooth>. - Could go bear huntin' with a switch <http://everything2.com/title/tough>. - Craw fishin' (going back on something like your word). dannye <http://everything2.com/title/dannye> - Crooked as a barrel full of fish hooks <http://everything2.com/title/barrel+full+of+fish+hooks>. - Cute as a toe sack <http://everything2.com/title/toe+sack> full of puppies. - Dark as the inside <http://everything2.com/title/That%2527s+pretty+durn+dark> of a cow. - Deader'n a doornail. - Didn't have sense enough to pound sand into a rat hole. - Don't flog (or beat) a dead horse. - Don't get your cows runnin <http://everything2.com/title/Stay+calm>. - Don't monkey with that. - Eatin' the gospel bird <http://everything2.com/title/gospel+bird> (that's chicken, since the preacher always seemed to show up when there was fried chicken for dinner. - 'et <http://everything2.com/title/jealous> up with. - Empty as a winter rain barrel. - Everything's chicken but the bill. - Fast as all get out <http://everything2.com/title/ninety+nothin%25E2%2580%2599+mile%25E2%2580%2599+an+hour>. - Fine as a frog's hair split up the middle and tied at both ends. - Flat as a flitter <http://everything2.com/title/flitter>. - From now until Gabriel <http://everything2.com/title/%25E2%2580%2598till+the+end+times> blows his horn - Gee willikers. - Getting too big <http://everything2.com/title/proud> for his britches. - Going at it like killing snakes. (Doing something with more vigor and enthusiasm than the task requires.) - Gooder'n snuff <http://everything2.com/title/snuff>. - Green <http://everything2.com/title/Young> as a gourd. - Happier than a dead pig in the sunshine. - Happier than a pig in slop. - He ain't got the sense he was born with. - He hasn't hit a lick with a snake. (He hasn't worked in a while.) - He moves like the lice is fallin' off him. - He put the "e" in ignorant ig-nernt <http://everything2.com/title/ignorant>. Submitted by novasy <http://everything2.com/title/novasy>. - He talks <http://everything2.com/title/mumbles> like he's got a mouthful of mush. - He thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. - He's cooler than the other side of the pillow. dannye <http://everything2.com/title/dannye> - He's all hat <http://everything2.com/title/Phony> and no cattle. - He's got a tough row <http://everything2.com/title/his+work+is+cut+out+for+him> to hoe. - He was moving so slow, dead flies wouldn't fall off 'im. - Hells' bells <http://everything2.com/title/Hells%2527+bells>. - Highfalutin' <http://everything2.com/title/prideful>. - High muckety-mucks <http://everything2.com/title/snobs>. - Hotter than a June bride. - Hotter than a $2 pistol. - I ain't got no dog <http://everything2.com/title/don%25E2%2580%2599t+disagree> in that fight. - I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. - I didn't take her to raise. (I'm not responsible for her) - I don't know her from Adam's house cat. - I feel like a banjo. Everybody's picking on me. - I feel like the underside of a turnip green <http://everything2.com/title/turnip+green>. (I feel sick or low and green.) - I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes. - I suwanne <http://everything2.com/title/suwanne>. (I swear.) - I spoke to her and she didn't say pea turkey squat <http://everything2.com/title/nothing>. - I was as surprised as if a sheep had bit me. - I went to the barber and got my ears lowered <http://everything2.com/title/hair+cut>. - I wouldn't give you air if you were in a jug. - I wouldn't p*** on him if he was on fire <http://everything2.com/title/piss>. - I'd have to feel better to die. - I'll do that directly <http://everything2.com/title/sooner+than%252C+in+a+while>. - I'll get all over you like white on rice <http://everything2.com/title/white+on+rice>. - I'll knock you into next week. - I'm feelin' lower than a a snake's belly in a mud rut. - I'm gonna jerk you through a knot. - I'm gonna slap you so hard when you quit rollin' your clothes'll be outta style. - I'm so busy, I don't have time to cuss the cat. - If she had one more wrinkle , she could screw her hat on. - If you don't do that, I'll be all over you like stink on a skunk. - If it'd been a snake <http://everything2.com/title/obvious> it would have bit you. - If you lie down with dogs <http://everything2.com/title/lie+down+with+dogs>, you'll get up with fleas. - Is it any 'count? <http://everything2.com/title/account> (is it any good?) Submitted by novasy <http://everything2.com/title/novasy>. - It was so good it would have brought tears to a glass eye <http://everything2.com/title/tears+to+a+glass+eye>. - It's been so long since the last rain I had to blow dust <http://everything2.com/title/blow+dust> out of the rain gauge. - It's comin' up a bad cloud <http://everything2.com/title/storm>. - It’s more <http://everything2.com/title/too+much> than I can say grace over. - It's not too pretty for nice, but it's great for good. - It's pourin' down bullfrogs. - Jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs <http://everything2.com/title/long+tailed+cat+in+a+room+full+of+rockin%2527+chairs>. - Live and learn, die and know it all. - Like tryin' to poke <http://everything2.com/title/useless> a cat out from under the porch with a rope. - Livin' high on the hog <http://everything2.com/title/rich>. - Loosing my religion. (At whit's end.) - Mad as a mule chewing on bumblebees. - Madder than a wet hen <http://everything2.com/title/wet+hen>. (Don’t be monkeyin’ with wet hens) - Make hay <http://everything2.com/title/work> while the sun shines. - My mouth is dry enough <http://everything2.com/title/thirsty> to spin cotton. - My stars and garters. - Older <http://everything2.com/title/Older> than dirt. - One of 'em will lie and the other one'll swear to it. - Petered out. <http://everything2.com/title/tired> - Pipe <http://everything2.com/title/quite> down. - Plumb tickled <http://everything2.com/title/happy> to death. - Pulled too green <http://everything2.com/title/small>. - Put on <http://everything2.com/title/show+off> the dog. - Right as rain. - Rode hard and put up wet. - Runnin' like the house is afire. - Running around like a chicken with its head cut off. - Scarce as deviled eggs after a church picnic. - Scarcer <http://everything2.com/title/rare> than hen's teeth - She's a caution.(She's a trip or she's unusual). - She's so poor she ain't got two nickels to rub together. - She was cryin' and slingin' snot. - Slicker than snot. - Slower than cream risin' on last years buttermilk <http://everything2.com/title/buttermilk>. - Slower than molasses trying to run uphill in January. - Snake-bit <http://everything2.com/title/Taken>. - Snatch the taste <http://everything2.com/title/lose+one%25E2%2580%2599s+appetite> right out of her mouth. - So dry, the trees are bribing the dogs. - So surprised you coulda knocked his eyes <http://everything2.com/title/bug+eyed> off with a stick. - Squirmin' like a worm in hot ashes. - Staggerin' around like a blind horse in a punkin patch. - Stout as a mule. - Straight as a string. - Sunday-go-t'meetin' clothes <http://everything2.com/title/Sunday+best>. - Sure as a cat's got climbing gear <http://everything2.com/title/confident>. Submitted by Slidewell <http://everything2.com/title/Slidewell>. - Tall enough to go duck huntin' with a rake. - Tender as a judge's heart. - That dog won't hunt <http://everything2.com/title/Impossible>. - That kid ain't knee-high <http://everything2.com/title/knee-high> to a duck. - That truck couldn't pull a fat baby off a tricycle. - That's a fine how d'ya do. - That's as good as a cold collard sandwich. - That's not big enough to cuss the cat in. - Thick as flies on a dog's back. - Thicker than fiddlers in hell. - Tight as Dick's hatband. - Useless as teats on a boarhog <http://everything2.com/title/boarhog>. - Walkin' like he's rakin' up shucks. <http://everything2.com/title/corn+husks> - We didn't have [crowded <http://everything2.com/title/corn+husks> to swing a cat. - Weak <http://everything2.com/title/sick> as dishwater. - Well, shut my mouth. - We've howdied, but not met. - What ever blows your dress up. - You can't beat that with a stick. - You can't judge the depth of a well by the handle of the pump. - You have a hollow leg <http://everything2.com/title/eat+a+lot>. - You lie like a dirty cur dog. - You're going to wool that baby to death." (to wool = to cuddle or love on excessively) Submitted by novasy <http://everything2.com/title/novasy>. - You scared the livin’ daylights <http://everything2.com/title/daylights> out of me. Colorful Insults - He's dumb as a sack full of hammers. - He looks like he got beat with an ugly stick <http://everything2.com/title/ugly+stick>. - He was so buck toothed <http://everything2.com/title/buck+toothed> he could eat an apple through a picket fence. - He's about half a bubble off plumb <http://everything2.com/title/plumb>. - He's as ugly as homemade lye soap <http://everything2.com/title/lye+soap>. - He's got the personality of a dishrag. - He's so low down he could crawl under a snake's belly. - I wonder what she would charge to haunt a house. - If you had bird brains you'd fly backwards. - She had a face as ugly as a stack of black cats with their tails cut off. - She had a face so ugly she wore out two bodies. - She's as ugly as a mud fence daubed with tadpoles. - She's so ugly she could scare the bulldog off a meat truck. - She's so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her. - She's three pickles shy of a quart. - She's ugly enough to stop an eight day clock. - That face might not stop a clock, but it'd sure raise Cain with watches. - You look like something the cat dragged in. - You're not worth the powder and shot it'd take to blow you to kingdom come. - You're so dumb if they put your brain on the head of a pin it would roll around like a BB on a six-lane highway. Compliments - Cute as a bug's ear. - He's handier than a pocket on a shirt. - He's as fast as greased lightening' <http://everything2.com/title/greased+lightening%2527>. - I wouldn't trade you for a farm in Georgia. - She's as purty as a speckled pup under a red wagon. - She's as purty as a spotted horse in a daisy pasture. - Sure as the vine twines 'round the stump, you are my darlin' sugar lump. -- Peter Kurilecz CRM CA IGP [log in to unmask] Dallas, Texas Save our in-boxes! http://emailcharter.org http://twitter.com/RAINbyte http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/RAINbyte/ http://paper.li/RAINbyte/rainbyte https://groups.google.com/d/forum/archives-in-the-news http://pinterest.com/pakurilecz/archives/ http://pinterest.com/pakurilecz/records-management/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/peterakurilecz #*CantbeworsethanPeterk* <https://twitter.com/hashtag/CantbeworsethanPeterk?src=hash> Information not relevant for my reply has been deleted to reduce the electronic footprint and to save the sanity of digest subscribers List archives at http://lists.ufl.edu/archives/recmgmt-l.html Contact [log in to unmask] for assistance To unsubscribe from this list, click the below link. 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